You've probably
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what we do

Settle down, Mailchimp.”

Adam Driver is the Sarah Jessica Parker of men.”

Are pigs becoming extinct?”

Did you just raise the roof on jQuery?”

They have that dirty ketchup money.”

Rhinos are a big deal.”

I thought I was done with zombies.”

Murderer at nine o'clock!”

Sassy Cap'n McBeef O'Brady”

Emotionally, my hands are in my pockets.”

You can't out-do the fish with sneakers.”

Was that Rod Stewart?”

Steve's probably listening to Fiona Apple.”

IE is the DMV of the Internet.”

Fancy code is the only kind I write.”

'M', as in Machu Picchu.”

Your sweat smells like Dolce & Gabbana.”

It's like drinking a little garden.”

Why'd you put me out like that about the Lion King?”

An ice cream truck drove through this design.”

I'm trying to figure out what kind of harvester to use for canola.”

I'd try human. (on the topic of cannibalism)”

I just had an Emeril moment.”

What kind of single-finger crimes can you commit?”

I'm gonna rock that perm!”

Like, the food kind, or the magical kind?”

If the Long Island Medium were here, she'd freak out.”

I don't think real cowboys do this much ironing.”

Whoa! That's the monkey!”

400 pounds plus adrenaline, and I could flip a car, easy.”

What kind of shoes, cotton candy?”

I'm sorry about the div.”

You wanna do hot dogs Friday?”

Acknowledge my math!”

It's a pickle wearing a cape; I think it's self-explanatory.”

I'm going to look up thesaurus in the dictionary.”

Something is wrong with the server.”

It was working a minute ago.”

I think I was bitten by a rattlesnake in a past life.”

If you had a hot dog roller and went shopping for sausages, things might change.”

You're eating the chicken crust.”

I was just there for the Year of the Spatula.”

It's a torsional thing.”

That horse looks like Burt Russel Crowe.”

I'd go to a goat rodeo.”

PBS is very : colon-y.”

There is no reason for Bob Evans.”

You reach into your heart and pull out a potholder.”

No, *YOU* need megadoses of vitamin D.”

We have flippage!”

There are four purses in my purse.”

Mister-I'm-Never-Wrong!”

(on St. Patrick's Day) Happy Thanksgiving!”

Can you bring your horse?”

Helvetica Light makes me think you're lying.”

My whole life is a circular formula.”

A guy named Jerry has 20 watermelons in his truck.”

It’s just weird that this is like a “walkin’-around” place. ”

You see that giant hot dog?”

Make it extra-white. #GGGGGG”

Did you say "jQuery" or "Katie Perry"?”

Did I do that during the pandemic?”

That's just how I like my mugs: Cheap and Swiss.”

There's a lot of dirt down here.”

A pickle chip got caught in the wheels of my chair.”

I'd rather be Garamond than Papyrus.”

I just wanna eat this sandwich.”

I've been thinking about that wolf tie.”

The cats came with the man.”

I just smelled fries in my head.”

One time I set myself on fire.”

I had some chicken wings in my car that I was going to give you. ”

More bugs than expected. 4 stars. ”

Michael do you want something pumpkin-spiced?”

It's like an easy bake oven for adults who like chicken.”

I need to know more about that cat!”

I was working, until I got distracted by this Madonna song.”

...And that is why you don't wear sandals to Blossom.”

There's a lot of outer space.”

Is hot dog one word or two?”

I can’t type expletives without the expletives. ”

You should watch Labyrinth if you're into Muppets.”

I don't want to chase the red sweater. I just want to buy the red sweater.”

People are weird in the spring, man.”

The football game or the moon landing?”

The hands are the face of the arm.”

I'm sorry I'm not a sock connoisseur.”

Her abs look like a turtle shell.”

Teresa, you haven't given me an answer, you've only given me s*!%.”

This tastes like Steve's car.”

I’m getting a full-on chest plate tattoo of FORM riding on the back of a magical unicorn to show my appreciation.”

Facebook's telling me I'm fat.”

I've never had much luck with rabbits.”

I can turn my funks off.”

I'm not at a place in my heart where I can eat a bear.”

The Muppets are my Downton Abbey.”

In Belgium, there's a tax for things that are too multitasky.”

No amount of money is worth your husband having a mustache.”

I think what we should plan to do, is nothing.”

I had a pencil sharpener shaped like a boat.”

Check your email before you put your pants on.”

The 80's called and they want their wine back.”

Always cut toward your innards.”

It wasn't like that a minute ago.”

Shrimp is too squeaky for the morning.”

He's magic. He's practically a leprechaun.”

Wait 'til I get this gas station food, then order in.”

We're not eating it, we're just looking at it!”

He sucked at watching TV.”

Light the content candle!”

It's too Skittly.”

How am I supposed to get through my workday when I have to take care of all these tiny people in my phone?”

No. They don't have budget for robots.”

Beige is not a color.”

Squirrels don't have pants.”

That's great, now there's bacon bits in my keyboard.”

It doesn't work in IE.”

What can I say? I have uncontrollable eyebrows.”

Our sponsors are our butter, our members are our bread.”

Who is Batman and The Drumstick?”

Have you heard about the whaler-pirate guy?”

Batteries? Seriously? What is this, 1985?”

I think what we should probably do, is nothing.”

I feel like I just try too much sometimes.”

It works!”

I don't know who you think you are, coming up in here with a taco.”

Please pray for Mrs. Haskel's tomatoes.”

It doesn't work in Safari.”

Pockets full of coffee.”

I just blew my nose in my notes.”

Activate the chicken!”

Where we're going, we don't need rollovers!”

I bought a Chewbacca shirt but I keep forgetting to wear it.”

This is not your grandmother's website!”

That's a good lookin monkey.”

Haven't we tortured cauliflower enough?”

Stay in your happy little design world.”

It's too Skynrdy.”

I can't juggle a fish, that's for sure.”

C'mon. Lemme see your turkey burgers.”

Let's see, so the chicken goes in the middle...”

I once smuggled a Subway footlong in my sweatshirt pocket. ”

Oh, sorry! I'll just rewrite the Web.”

Stop counting the dents in my can of food.”

It's like a pair of pants, for your car.”

We're not counting the tiny chickens.”

She’s like the Taylor Swift of silversmithing. ”

I have an item of boot business to discuss.”

I need a more magical word for "practical."”

I don't foresee whales having cell phones.”

I'll die if I smell like a hamster.”

I can still smell Steve.”

Instructions unclear, I have peanut butter on my hands.”

Are we going to a place I can wear slippers?”

They're like the seagulls of birds.”

I call those dinosaurs daddy long necks.”

Not wearing black is Emily's pink.”

Bring it all to the corn dog party!”

Also, they have a great toe box.”

It's too sausagy.”

I don't like wearing pants.”

What is life if not just a series of great chairs?”

Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe it‘s Oppenheimer. ”

I'm going to pull out the Real Joe Pesci Hat.”

No cults or dying, please. It's Friday.”

I'm out here changing the Internet.”

I would rather have moist than wet food, thank you very much.”

They'll do anything for a ribbon and a hamburger.”

But, Saul Bass already used all the good shapes.”

I try not to have too many hobbies.”

If it's not moist, I'm not interested in having it thrown on my desk.”

You can't ship pickles.”

The conference template fills me with dread.”

I'm wing-dingin' it.”

It's like a new Tool album for me.”

I'm trying to think of a more magical word for practical.”

Why is the llama-cam shaking?”

I just keep making ears by accident.”

There are no conifer trees in here.”

I switched to the California Raisins pillowcase last night.”

It's like a clown car of drawers.”

They should do Animal Crossing on the moon.”

I think I'm gonna have to set something on fire.”

It's broken.”

I don't recall there being an h in leprechaun.”

Oooh, it's propagating!”

Salad's nasty.”

You have some mustard on your forehead. ”

Then I thought, why not just make it Helvetica?”

Come and get it, Sammy Hagar!”

These zombies look like cauliflower.”

Those weren't professional quality mustaches.”

You do seem like the type of guy who'd drink pickle juice.”

My version of a beard is a hat.”

If this were a book, I would totally read it.”

It's dark and gloomy with zombies, but I think I'll keep my sunglasses on.”

I mean, how much Jeff Bridges can you have in one movie?”

My goal is to live until 2085.”

Dark Mode is ruining my life.”

This is too helpful.”

I'm not trying to make my turnips rot you guys.”

I've been here before - I was looking for a baby!”

Let's talk about donuts. ”

I got this whole thing of Silly Putty stuck on my sleeve.”

Beige is not an image.”

What are these ribbons your horse keeps winning?”

All caps, all the time.”

I have a weird cheese story for you.”

What about ferrets? Ferrets are weird.”

I would put that in Someone Said if it wasn't so disgusting.”

Is that a convertible hearse?”

I've never seen the 80s.”

I'm dealing with some very important kangaroo things right now.”

I'm just not used to Kory wearing pants.”

What don't you think should be converted into a fish tank?”

I want a corn dog scented candle.”

I'm gonna crop out the crusty parts.”

Well. I guess we're having stock photos for lunch.”

You're the Sherlock Holmes of the digital age.”

Can I be Josh for Halloween?”

It's not urgent, aside from the building being on fire.”

It smells like the 80s.”

Long story short... I'm a genius, and we don't need a new Roomba.”

Those stupid little pickles.”

I wish I could draw RoboCop.”

It'll be in the Someone Said that's in your heart.”

These people drive like animals.”

Never get into a fistfight with a puppeteer.”

I don't like the weather tellin' me what to do.”

You forgot the witch supplies!”

I know how I like my files: Large.”

Cat-flavored ice cream?”

I'm trying to use your design elements but I'm not sure I like them.”

Eating peaches with a spoon stinks.”

I hate Internet Explorer.”

Why'd you walk over here like Stone Cold Steve Austin?”

The wild cheeses grow aplenty here.”

What's that band? 100 Haircuts?”

Well, we have mustaches upstairs.”

Location ID = 23 Bread Bowl = False (AKA: The Breadbowl Module is Broken.)”

Steve, you should come look at these sandwich pictures.”

Lower case "m" is the best letter.”

This phone call is messing up my hair.”

Steve, let's go somewhere, just you and me.”

The meatball machine is broken.”

Try not to make it too caskety.”

You just have to hope for the best until it doesn't happen.”

That's why I don't eat it out of a can; I eat it out of a bag.”

How would you get DNA from Elvis?”

I want the whole tomato.”

I'm programming in my head.”

Gonna write up the changes on a stone tablet like it's the Jurassic era.”

Every time she raises her hand an egg dies.”

The dog arrived before the paintings.”

I haven't had a muffler since 2020”

My middle toe went numb and I thought I had something in my shoe.”

I can get behind an animal with a handlebar mustache.”

I tried the peanut butter trick with Jelly before.”

That's why I'm walking away while you look at pictures of Rob Van Dam.”

Must. Resist. Cacao.”

Yeah I'm turtlin'!”

That's a lawsuit pickle right there.”

I'm bringing iFrames back.”

Gettin' mean... in a nice way.”

Entertainment Tonight is where dreams go to die.”

Move. You're where my Diet Coke goes.”

I wanna smell how cold it is.”

Is that horse wearing shorts?”

It's what's for dinner.”

They're switchin' browsers and clearin' cookies!”

Math is black.”

It should be a little Burt Reynolds.”

I can tell by the look on your face that you're not going to be of any help.”

I can't solve a three-year-old's bee jokes.”

Remember when you threw décor at me?”

I only got to Utah before I quit.”

I didn't want to spend $40 on a banana costume.”

Internet Explorer is ruining this.”

I said something about sausage, but I don't remember what it was.”

Thankfully, Mercury in retrograde ends today.”

Don't come at me with your popcorn problems.”

I can't wait to put that on a T-shirt.”

1-2-3 Cheeseburger Lane!”

It was like B-side Tony the Tiger.”

You look at your astronaut food. I'm gonna work.”

It looks like a big dinosaur protecting a translucent bag of smaller dinosaurs”

Why is there a piece of cheese in my purse?”

I'm thinking like four, maybe five steps ahead of you.”

It's like The Sixth Sense, but with tacos.”

Babies aren't supposed to look like Woody Harrelson. ”

Look at the eyes on that Red-Legged Honeycreeper!”

I don't want this bacon on here any more.”

It's been two days since Monday.”

I can handle a lot of Jeff Bridges in one movie.”

There is no light, only Dark Mode.”

I'm gonna make websites out of wood.”

I'm no stranger to a rotten banana.”

He's building a car and doing his spy run.”

Oh I'm smart! I'm artificial!”

It's like, the future.”

Your hat smells like bologna.”

It looks, feels, and smells great!”

It's like Smash Mouth in the 90's”

That egg is dumb.”

Can you Swissify it?”

The air doesn't taste like pancakes!”

This sushi is quite delicious. If you like the taste of death.”

Is this the collective smell of humanity?”

I've been to New Jersey?”

I've looked at that alpaca all day.”

Is toe box one word or two?”

I'm sitting down here with Hot Popcorn Hands.”

I found Pickle Doritos at a rest stop.”

Birthday Mullet Hammer Pants”

It's like a statue of my dog with a mustache on it.”

No one is as f*#¥%#! good as Katelyn. She’s got two degrees.”

He's got an eyepatch sorta vibe.”

It's like if I had muscles but with quarters.”

I forgot outside was a place I could go.”

How much bread would it take to feed a scorpion for a week?”

It's like, I read books, but I also party.”

This knob makes me want to get drunk.”

There's wine on your motherboard.”

I love mint-forward. ”

I'm not giving my money to YouTube. YouTube is all horsey and gross.”

They're like little rock possums!”

It's like, the Jedi.”

It reminds me of an old calculator.”

I am the ghost of Tractor Supply Company.”

You're always picked last and your pasta smells.”

Look at his bag of hot dog boxes on the floor!”

The donut button isn't working.”

A person can be positive, AND also inappropriate.”

It's the web equivalent of a junk drawer.”

Please ignore me collating behind you.”

I can't wait to dance on the grave of that site.”

It's like Top Chef, but with vodka.”

I keep thinking about that wolf tie.”