You've probably
noticed we love
what we do

I think I was bitten by a rattlesnake in a past life.”

Lower case "m" is the best letter.”

I'd try human. (on the topic of cannibalism)”

A pickle chip got caught in the wheels of my chair.”

I just had an Emeril moment.”

Emotionally, my hands are in my pockets.”

That's just how I like my mugs: Cheap and Swiss.”

Look at his bag of hot dog boxes on the floor!”

Michael do you want something pumpkin-spiced?”

Helvetica Light makes me think you're lying.”

I can’t type expletives without the expletives. ”

He's just mad because he can't be a wizard.”

This tastes like Steve's car.”

Please ignore me collating behind you.”

(on St. Patrick's Day) Happy Thanksgiving!”

I'm gonna rock that perm!”

I've never seen the 80s.”

Come and get it, Sammy Hagar!”

I wanna smell how cold it is.”

What is life if not just a series of great chairs?”

How am I supposed to get through my workday when I have to take care of all these tiny people in my phone?”

Well, we have mustaches upstairs.”

There are no conifer trees in here.”

Rhinos are a big deal.”

Gettin' mean... in a nice way.”

It was working a minute ago.”

My goal is to live until 2085.”

One time I set myself on fire.”

He's got an eyepatch sorta vibe.”

No amount of money is worth your husband having a mustache.”

Why is the llama-cam shaking?”

Is toe box one word or two?”

Can you bring your horse?”

I am the ghost of Tractor Supply Company.”

Stay in your happy little design world.”

It's been two days since Monday.”

It's the web equivalent of a junk drawer.”

No, *YOU* need megadoses of vitamin D.”

Teresa, you haven't given me an answer, you've only given me s*!%.”

Kohl's and casinos — no windows.”

It's too Skittly.”

I hate Internet Explorer.”

I had a pencil sharpener shaped like a boat.”

There is no reason for Bob Evans.”

I'm not at a place in my heart where I can eat a bear.”

I'd rather be Garamond than Papyrus.”

I switched to the California Raisins pillowcase last night.”

It's what's for dinner.”

I can't wait to put that on a T-shirt.”

Settle down, Mailchimp.”

Bring it all to the corn dog party!”

I try not to have too many hobbies.”

Trash day is the only thing that anchors me.”

Don't come at me with your popcorn problems.”

Is that a convertible hearse?”

I think what we should probably do, is nothing.”

This is a website for birds!”

You can't ship pickles.”

I've never had much luck with rabbits.”

Eating peaches with a spoon stinks.”

An ice cream truck drove through this design.”

I'm sitting down here with Hot Popcorn Hands.”

Young Sam Elliot is a head-turner!”

That horse looks like Burt Russel Crowe.”

Who am I, Benjamin Franklin?”

Look at the eyes on that Red-Legged Honeycreeper!”

IE is the DMV of the Internet.”

I can't wait to dance on the grave of that site.”

I don't think real cowboys do this much ironing.”

Instructions unclear, I have peanut butter on my hands.”

Steve's probably listening to Fiona Apple.”

This is too helpful.”

I tried the peanut butter trick with Jelly before.”

You're eating the chicken crust.”

But, Saul Bass already used all the good shapes.”

I can still smell Steve.”

Full of secrets and bees. ”

I can get behind an animal with a handlebar mustache.”

I don't like wearing pants.”

This phone call is messing up my hair.”

Like, the food kind, or the magical kind?”

It reminds me of an old calculator.”

It smells like the 80s.”

What can I say? I have uncontrollable eyebrows.”

I found Pickle Doritos at a rest stop.”

Acknowledge my math!”

You reach into your heart and pull out a potholder.”

I'm dealing with some very important kangaroo things right now.”

I had some chicken wings in my car that I was going to give you. ”

Haven't we tortured cauliflower enough?”

That's great, now there's bacon bits in my keyboard.”

I'm trying to think of a more magical word for practical.”

Oh I'm smart! I'm artificial!”

Adam Driver is the Sarah Jessica Parker of men.”

The 80's called and they want their wine back.”

Try not to make it too caskety.”

You can't out-do the fish with sneakers.”

Long story short... I'm a genius, and we don't need a new Roomba.”

Check your email before you put your pants on.”

Mister-I'm-Never-Wrong!”

I know how I like my files: Large.”

I'm trying to figure out what kind of harvester to use for canola.”

Something is wrong with the server.”

Gonna write up the changes on a stone tablet like it's the Jurassic era.”

I feel like I just try too much sometimes.”

It's like, I read books, but I also party.”

If you had a hot dog roller and went shopping for sausages, things might change.”

The Muppets are my Downton Abbey.”

C'mon. Lemme see your turkey burgers.”

It wasn't like that a minute ago.”

Her abs look like a turtle shell.”

Sassy Cap'n McBeef O'Brady”

If this were a book, I would totally read it.”

That's a good lookin monkey.”

Where we're going, we don't need rollovers!”

It was like B-side Tony the Tiger.”

I love mint-forward. ”

He's magic. He's practically a leprechaun.”

A guy named Jerry has 20 watermelons in his truck.”

...And that is why you don't wear sandals to Blossom.”

I'm programming in my head.”

You forgot the witch supplies!”

It's like a pair of pants, for your car.”

There's wine on your motherboard.”

We're not eating it, we're just looking at it!”

I'm bringing iFrames back.”

I'm out here changing the Internet.”

Wait 'til I get this gas station food, then order in.”

Activate the chicken!”

There's a lot of dirt down here.”

I wish I could draw RoboCop.”

Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe it‘s Oppenheimer. ”

You're always picked last and your pasta smells.”

Move. You're where my Diet Coke goes.”

Did Ben Franklin even know that dinosaurs existed?”

Dalmatians are not a monolith, people.”

I'm no stranger to a rotten banana.”

Math is black.”

You wanna do hot dogs Friday?”

I just blew my nose in my notes.”

Those weren't professional quality mustaches.”

This knob makes me want to get drunk.”

Did you just raise the roof on jQuery?”

400 pounds plus adrenaline, and I could flip a car, easy.”

Can you Swissify it?”

I'm sorry about the div.”

I think I'm gonna have to set something on fire.”

Shrimp is too squeaky for the morning.”

The football game or the moon landing?”

It's dark and gloomy with zombies, but I think I'll keep my sunglasses on.”

You have some mustard on your forehead. ”

I just smelled fries in my head.”

What don't you think should be converted into a fish tank?”

Location ID = 23 Bread Bowl = False (AKA: The Breadbowl Module is Broken.)”

How much bread would it take to feed a scorpion for a week?”

These people drive like animals.”

I don't know who you think you are, coming up in here with a taco.”

It's like a statue of my dog with a mustache on it.”

I'm gonna make websites out of wood.”

Did I do that during the pandemic?”

Our sponsors are our butter, our members are our bread.”

I mean, how much Jeff Bridges can you have in one movie?”

Oooh, it's propagating!”

You're the Sherlock Holmes of the digital age.”

You just had to bring up Toe Day, didn't you?”

More bugs than expected. 4 stars. ”

Salad's nasty.”

They have that dirty ketchup money.”

Hot yoga, Steve? No, goat.”

It doesn't work in Safari.”

Have you heard about the whaler-pirate guy?”

It was 90 degrees because of a comically large pepper.”

Thankfully, Mercury in retrograde ends today.”

Please pray for Mrs. Haskel's tomatoes.”

Oh, sorry! I'll just rewrite the Web.”

Was that Rod Stewart?”

I want a corn dog scented candle.”

He's building a car and doing his spy run.”

There is no light, only Dark Mode.”

It's not urgent, aside from the building being on fire.”

Steve, let's go somewhere, just you and me.”

Why is there a piece of cheese in my purse?”

A person can be positive, AND also inappropriate.”

Never get into a fistfight with a puppeteer.”

Light the content candle!”

I'm gonna crop out the crusty parts.”

The meatball machine is broken.”

What kind of single-finger crimes can you commit?”

Why'd you put me out like that about the Lion King?”

What are these ribbons your horse keeps winning?”

It's too Skynrdy.”

Entertainment Tonight is where dreams go to die.”

It's like, the future.”

It's like a clown car of drawers.”

I'm not giving my money to YouTube. YouTube is all horsey and gross.”

Is this the collective smell of humanity?”

I don't want this bacon on here any more.”

It’s just weird that this is like a “walkin’-around” place. ”

They're like the seagulls of birds.”

It looks, feels, and smells great!”

It's broken.”

I can tell by the look on your face that you're not going to be of any help.”

Are pigs becoming extinct?”

It's like Top Chef, but with vodka.”

The wild cheeses grow aplenty here.”

Fancy code is the only kind I write.”

What about ferrets? Ferrets are weird.”

I haven't had a muffler since 2020”

I'm going to pull out the Real Joe Pesci Hat.”

I'm sorry I'm not a sock connoisseur.”

I've been here before - I was looking for a baby!”

Eating beans from a can like a hobo!”

I've been thinking about that wolf tie.”

Not wearing black is Emily's pink.”

It works!”

I was just there for the Year of the Spatula.”

I thought I was done with zombies.”

That's a lawsuit pickle right there.”

What kind of shoes, cotton candy?”

The cats came with the man.”

Are we going to a place I can wear slippers?”

Is that horse wearing shorts?”

I only got to Utah before I quit.”

Babies aren't supposed to look like Woody Harrelson. ”

Did you say "jQuery" or "Katie Perry"?”

It's a torsional thing.”

I bought a Chewbacca shirt but I keep forgetting to wear it.”

I'm just not used to Kory wearing pants.”

Why'd you walk over here like Stone Cold Steve Austin?”

You'd suck at being a zombie.”

You just have to hope for the best until it doesn't happen.”

It's like if I had muscles but with quarters.”

I just wanna eat this sandwich.”

I don't like the weather tellin' me what to do.”

This is not your grandmother's website!”

It's like drinking a little garden.”

I think what we should plan to do, is nothing.”

You should watch Labyrinth if you're into Muppets.”

Beige is not an image.”

I can handle a lot of Jeff Bridges in one movie.”

It's like a new Tool album for me.”

I don't foresee whales having cell phones.”

Is hot dog one word or two?”

I keep thinking about that wolf tie.”

Beige is not a color.”

If the Long Island Medium were here, she'd freak out.”

That egg is dumb.”

In Belgium, there's a tax for things that are too multitasky.”

You do seem like the type of guy who'd drink pickle juice.”

I would rather have moist than wet food, thank you very much.”

I call those dinosaurs daddy long necks.”

I can't solve a three-year-old's bee jokes.”

They're like little rock possums!”

I can't juggle a fish, that's for sure.”

It doesn't work in IE.”

In kindergarten we had a wedding for the letters Q and U because they were always together.”

How would you get DNA from Elvis?”

Stop counting the dents in my can of food.”

Can I be Josh for Halloween?”

'M', as in Machu Picchu.”

Where did you live, a coal chute?”

It's like Smash Mouth in the 90's”

Pockets full of coffee.”

I said something about sausage, but I don't remember what it was.”

Who is Batman and The Drumstick?”

We have flippage!”

I once smuggled a Subway footlong in my sweatshirt pocket. ”

Yeah I'm turtlin'!”

They'll do anything for a ribbon and a hamburger.”

No. They don't have budget for robots.”

Also, they have a great toe box.”

1-2-3 Cheeseburger Lane!”

I just keep making ears by accident.”

It's too sausagy.”

Those stupid little pickles.”

People are weird in the spring, man.”

You see that giant hot dog?”

Steve, you should come look at these sandwich pictures.”

They should do Animal Crossing on the moon.”

Birthday Mullet Hammer Pants”

I don't want to chase the red sweater. I just want to buy the red sweater.”

Batteries? Seriously? What is this, 1985?”

It's like The Sixth Sense, but with tacos.”

That's why I don't eat it out of a can; I eat it out of a bag.”

The dog arrived before the paintings.”

PBS is very : colon-y.”

She’s like the Taylor Swift of silversmithing. ”

I'll die if I smell like a hamster.”

I don't recall there being an h in leprechaun.”

Whoa! That's the monkey!”

No cults or dying, please. It's Friday.”

It should be a little Burt Reynolds.”

My whole life is a circular formula.”

I need a more magical word for "practical."”

If it's not moist, I'm not interested in having it thrown on my desk.”

The donut button isn't working.”

Let's not get in a fight with a horse.”

I forgot outside was a place I could go.”

It's like, the Jedi.”

Let's see, so the chicken goes in the middle...”

I have an item of boot business to discuss.”

There are four purses in my purse.”

Let's talk about donuts. ”

Your hat smells like bologna.”

I can turn my funks off.”

It'll be in the Someone Said that's in your heart.”

Squirrels don't have pants.”

Dark Mode is ruining my life.”

I want the whole tomato.”

I have a weird cheese story for you.”

I would put that in Someone Said if it wasn't so disgusting.”

Your sweat smells like Dolce & Gabbana.”

That's why I'm walking away while you look at pictures of Rob Van Dam.”

I got this whole thing of Silly Putty stuck on my sleeve.”

The conference template fills me with dread.”

Must. Resist. Cacao.”

No one is as f*#¥%#! good as Katelyn. She’s got two degrees.”

These zombies look like cauliflower.”

This sushi is quite delicious. If you like the taste of death.”

There's a lot of outer space.”

My version of a beard is a hat.”

Cat-flavored ice cream?”

I'm going to look up thesaurus in the dictionary.”

My middle toe went numb and I thought I had something in my shoe.”

Every time she raises her hand an egg dies.”

It's a pickle wearing a cape; I think it's self-explanatory.”

Then I thought, why not just make it Helvetica?”

I’m getting a full-on chest plate tattoo of FORM riding on the back of a magical unicorn to show my appreciation.”

They're switchin' browsers and clearin' cookies!”

It's like an easy bake oven for adults who like chicken.”

I didn't want to spend $40 on a banana costume.”

I need to know more about that cat!”

I'm wing-dingin' it.”

Make it extra-white. #GGGGGG”

What's that band? 100 Haircuts?”

We're not counting the tiny chickens.”

I've looked at that alpaca all day.”

All caps, all the time.”

He sucked at watching TV.”

Facebook's telling me I'm fat.”

I've been to New Jersey?”

Internet Explorer is ruining this.”

It looks like a big dinosaur protecting a translucent bag of smaller dinosaurs”

I was working, until I got distracted by this Madonna song.”

I'm not trying to make my turnips rot you guys.”

I'd go to a goat rodeo.”

I'm thinking like four, maybe five steps ahead of you.”

The air doesn't taste like pancakes!”

The hands are the face of the arm.”

Murderer at nine o'clock!”

Remember when you threw décor at me?”

I'm trying to use your design elements but I'm not sure I like them.”

Always cut toward your innards.”

You look at your astronaut food. I'm gonna work.”

Well. I guess we're having stock photos for lunch.”