You've probably
noticed we love
what we do

It's too Skittly.”

I want a corn dog scented candle.”

You'd suck at being a zombie.”

Light the content candle!”

It's like Top Chef, but with vodka.”

You reach into your heart and pull out a potholder.”

Sassy Cap'n McBeef O'Brady”

I'd rather be Garamond than Papyrus.”

I can't juggle a fish, that's for sure.”

I can handle a lot of Jeff Bridges in one movie.”

I had some chicken wings in my car that I was going to give you. ”

This sushi is quite delicious. If you like the taste of death.”

I'm sitting down here with Hot Popcorn Hands.”

What don't you think should be converted into a fish tank?”

I was just there for the Year of the Spatula.”

Her abs look like a turtle shell.”

You should watch Labyrinth if you're into Muppets.”

Stop counting the dents in my can of food.”

Then I thought, why not just make it Helvetica?”

Why is there a piece of cheese in my purse?”

IE is the DMV of the Internet.”

I'd try human. (on the topic of cannibalism)”

Those weren't professional quality mustaches.”

Beige is not an image.”

There's a lot of outer space.”

1-2-3 Cheeseburger Lane!”

I don't foresee whales having cell phones.”

Why is the llama-cam shaking?”

He's got an eyepatch sorta vibe.”

Wait 'til I get this gas station food, then order in.”

Internet Explorer is ruining this.”

I had a pencil sharpener shaped like a boat.”

I've never had much luck with rabbits.”

That's great, now there's bacon bits in my keyboard.”

I'm gonna make websites out of wood.”

It's like a new Tool album for me.”

Please ignore me collating behind you.”

The meatball machine is broken.”

Your sweat smells like Dolce & Gabbana.”

Our sponsors are our butter, our members are our bread.”

Every time she raises her hand an egg dies.”

They're like the seagulls of birds.”

I've never seen the 80s.”

Who am I, Benjamin Franklin?”

Those stupid little pickles.”

I've been here before - I was looking for a baby!”

He's just mad because he can't be a wizard.”

Dark Mode is ruining my life.”

That's a good lookin monkey.”

What's that band? 100 Haircuts?”

Young Sam Elliot is a head-turner!”

I'm trying to think of a more magical word for practical.”

Birthday Mullet Hammer Pants”

It's like Smash Mouth in the 90's”

The Muppets are my Downton Abbey.”

He's building a car and doing his spy run.”

I'm dealing with some very important kangaroo things right now.”

It's dark and gloomy with zombies, but I think I'll keep my sunglasses on.”

How am I supposed to get through my workday when I have to take care of all these tiny people in my phone?”

You look at your astronaut food. I'm gonna work.”

I've looked at that alpaca all day.”

Batteries? Seriously? What is this, 1985?”

I try not to have too many hobbies.”

It's like a clown car of drawers.”

The 80's called and they want their wine back.”

I'd go to a goat rodeo.”

I need to know more about that cat!”

It was like B-side Tony the Tiger.”

The wild cheeses grow aplenty here.”

Make it extra-white. #GGGGGG”

You're always picked last and your pasta smells.”

You see that giant hot dog?”

These zombies look like cauliflower.”

Remember when you threw décor at me?”

You do seem like the type of guy who'd drink pickle juice.”

If this were a book, I would totally read it.”

Let's talk about donuts. ”

Rhinos are a big deal.”

Let's see, so the chicken goes in the middle...”

Something is wrong with the server.”

I said something about sausage, but I don't remember what it was.”

You're eating the chicken crust.”

Is toe box one word or two?”

My goal is to live until 2085.”

What kind of single-finger crimes can you commit?”

The air doesn't taste like pancakes!”

One time I set myself on fire.”

There is no light, only Dark Mode.”

I don't know who you think you are, coming up in here with a taco.”

I'm sorry I'm not a sock connoisseur.”

Did you just raise the roof on jQuery?”

I'm not giving my money to YouTube. YouTube is all horsey and gross.”

Try not to make it too caskety.”

I want the whole tomato.”

The football game or the moon landing?”

People are weird in the spring, man.”

A person can be positive, AND also inappropriate.”

I think I was bitten by a rattlesnake in a past life.”

Pockets full of coffee.”

Squirrels don't have pants.”

(on St. Patrick's Day) Happy Thanksgiving!”

It looks, feels, and smells great!”

Stay in your happy little design world.”

I'm not at a place in my heart where I can eat a bear.”

Gettin' mean... in a nice way.”

Can I be Josh for Halloween?”

This is a website for birds!”

Are pigs becoming extinct?”

Whoa! That's the monkey!”

All caps, all the time.”

It's been two days since Monday.”

Also, they have a great toe box.”

I love mint-forward. ”

Are we going to a place I can wear slippers?”

Is that a convertible hearse?”

I forgot outside was a place I could go.”

I just wanna eat this sandwich.”

No amount of money is worth your husband having a mustache.”

Lower case "m" is the best letter.”

Math is black.”

They're switchin' browsers and clearin' cookies!”

Murderer at nine o'clock!”

I just smelled fries in my head.”

It's like a statue of my dog with a mustache on it.”

My middle toe went numb and I thought I had something in my shoe.”

They should do Animal Crossing on the moon.”

You can't out-do the fish with sneakers.”

Is that horse wearing shorts?”

It's a pickle wearing a cape; I think it's self-explanatory.”

We have flippage!”

It should be a little Burt Reynolds.”

It reminds me of an old calculator.”

He sucked at watching TV.”

Emotionally, my hands are in my pockets.”

I need a more magical word for "practical."”

No one is as f*#¥%#! good as Katelyn. She’s got two degrees.”

Is this the collective smell of humanity?”

Must. Resist. Cacao.”

Was that Rod Stewart?”

Dalmatians are not a monolith, people.”

Hot yoga, Steve? No, goat.”

My whole life is a circular formula.”

It’s just weird that this is like a “walkin’-around” place. ”

I'm sorry about the div.”

I'm gonna crop out the crusty parts.”

These people drive like animals.”

'M', as in Machu Picchu.”

Well, we have mustaches upstairs.”

Adam Driver is the Sarah Jessica Parker of men.”

You have some mustard on your forehead. ”

It's like if I had muscles but with quarters.”

A guy named Jerry has 20 watermelons in his truck.”

It smells like the 80s.”

Kohl's and casinos — no windows.”

I can't wait to dance on the grave of that site.”

But, Saul Bass already used all the good shapes.”

There are no conifer trees in here.”

I can’t type expletives without the expletives. ”

It'll be in the Someone Said that's in your heart.”

400 pounds plus adrenaline, and I could flip a car, easy.”

Always cut toward your innards.”

I call those dinosaurs daddy long necks.”

It's not urgent, aside from the building being on fire.”

Oh, sorry! I'll just rewrite the Web.”

I wanna smell how cold it is.”

I am the ghost of Tractor Supply Company.”

I think what we should probably do, is nothing.”

I'm trying to figure out what kind of harvester to use for canola.”

Where we're going, we don't need rollovers!”

Gonna write up the changes on a stone tablet like it's the Jurassic era.”

Cat-flavored ice cream?”

This tastes like Steve's car.”

Yeah I'm turtlin'!”

I can get behind an animal with a handlebar mustache.”

Not wearing black is Emily's pink.”

Acknowledge my math!”

I don't like the weather tellin' me what to do.”

It's too Skynrdy.”

Full of secrets and bees. ”

You wanna do hot dogs Friday?”

I tried the peanut butter trick with Jelly before.”

I'm wing-dingin' it.”

Why'd you put me out like that about the Lion King?”

She’s like the Taylor Swift of silversmithing. ”

Don't come at me with your popcorn problems.”

Babies aren't supposed to look like Woody Harrelson. ”

I'm no stranger to a rotten banana.”

I've been thinking about that wolf tie.”

I just had an Emeril moment.”

He's magic. He's practically a leprechaun.”

The donut button isn't working.”

Check your email before you put your pants on.”

Look at the eyes on that Red-Legged Honeycreeper!”

This phone call is messing up my hair.”

Move. You're where my Diet Coke goes.”

It's broken.”

Bring it all to the corn dog party!”

In kindergarten we had a wedding for the letters Q and U because they were always together.”

There are four purses in my purse.”

I'm trying to use your design elements but I'm not sure I like them.”

Thankfully, Mercury in retrograde ends today.”

This is too helpful.”

Let's not get in a fight with a horse.”

The cats came with the man.”

Fancy code is the only kind I write.”

Where did you live, a coal chute?”

That's why I don't eat it out of a can; I eat it out of a bag.”

The hands are the face of the arm.”

Please pray for Mrs. Haskel's tomatoes.”

More bugs than expected. 4 stars. ”

I got this whole thing of Silly Putty stuck on my sleeve.”

I'm out here changing the Internet.”

I keep thinking about that wolf tie.”

I don't want this bacon on here any more.”

My version of a beard is a hat.”

I can tell by the look on your face that you're not going to be of any help.”

I think I'm gonna have to set something on fire.”

I mean, how much Jeff Bridges can you have in one movie?”

An ice cream truck drove through this design.”

There's a lot of dirt down here.”

It's like The Sixth Sense, but with tacos.”

That egg is dumb.”

I'm going to look up thesaurus in the dictionary.”

You forgot the witch supplies!”

No cults or dying, please. It's Friday.”

You can't ship pickles.”

I feel like I just try too much sometimes.”

Mister-I'm-Never-Wrong!”

Why'd you walk over here like Stone Cold Steve Austin?”

I just blew my nose in my notes.”

Can you Swissify it?”

Eating beans from a can like a hobo!”

Settle down, Mailchimp.”

You just have to hope for the best until it doesn't happen.”

I bought a Chewbacca shirt but I keep forgetting to wear it.”

Shrimp is too squeaky for the morning.”

There's wine on your motherboard.”

Instructions unclear, I have peanut butter on my hands.”

I found Pickle Doritos at a rest stop.”

I didn't want to spend $40 on a banana costume.”

I'm bringing iFrames back.”

It wasn't like that a minute ago.”

I wish I could draw RoboCop.”

Did you say "jQuery" or "Katie Perry"?”

Michael do you want something pumpkin-spiced?”

Location ID = 23 Bread Bowl = False (AKA: The Breadbowl Module is Broken.)”

If the Long Island Medium were here, she'd freak out.”

We're not eating it, we're just looking at it!”

Salad's nasty.”

I'm gonna rock that perm!”

I don't think real cowboys do this much ironing.”

I would put that in Someone Said if it wasn't so disgusting.”

It's the web equivalent of a junk drawer.”

They have that dirty ketchup money.”

It's too sausagy.”

It's a torsional thing.”

I can still smell Steve.”

They're like little rock possums!”

I don't like wearing pants.”

Steve's probably listening to Fiona Apple.”

They'll do anything for a ribbon and a hamburger.”

Teresa, you haven't given me an answer, you've only given me s*!%.”

How much bread would it take to feed a scorpion for a week?”

You just had to bring up Toe Day, didn't you?”

If it's not moist, I'm not interested in having it thrown on my desk.”

Oooh, it's propagating!”

I can't wait to put that on a T-shirt.”

What can I say? I have uncontrollable eyebrows.”

No, *YOU* need megadoses of vitamin D.”

Who is Batman and The Drumstick?”

It's like an easy bake oven for adults who like chicken.”

Facebook's telling me I'm fat.”

Never get into a fistfight with a puppeteer.”

I would rather have moist than wet food, thank you very much.”

No. They don't have budget for robots.”

Come and get it, Sammy Hagar!”

Can you bring your horse?”

I'm going to pull out the Real Joe Pesci Hat.”

Steve, let's go somewhere, just you and me.”

It looks like a big dinosaur protecting a translucent bag of smaller dinosaurs”

That's just how I like my mugs: Cheap and Swiss.”

A pickle chip got caught in the wheels of my chair.”

Entertainment Tonight is where dreams go to die.”

Well. I guess we're having stock photos for lunch.”

I can turn my funks off.”

I've been to New Jersey?”

I have an item of boot business to discuss.”

Steve, you should come look at these sandwich pictures.”

I don't want to chase the red sweater. I just want to buy the red sweater.”

I just keep making ears by accident.”

What kind of shoes, cotton candy?”

What about ferrets? Ferrets are weird.”

I think what we should plan to do, is nothing.”

Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe it‘s Oppenheimer. ”

What is life if not just a series of great chairs?”

Your hat smells like bologna.”

Helvetica Light makes me think you're lying.”

That horse looks like Burt Russel Crowe.”

It's like, I read books, but I also party.”

It works!”

How would you get DNA from Elvis?”

Haven't we tortured cauliflower enough?”

The dog arrived before the paintings.”

If you had a hot dog roller and went shopping for sausages, things might change.”

That's a lawsuit pickle right there.”

I haven't had a muffler since 2020”

Is hot dog one word or two?”

There is no reason for Bob Evans.”

I'm thinking like four, maybe five steps ahead of you.”

Did I do that during the pandemic?”

This is not your grandmother's website!”

In Belgium, there's a tax for things that are too multitasky.”

I only got to Utah before I quit.”

It's like drinking a little garden.”

I once smuggled a Subway footlong in my sweatshirt pocket. ”

It doesn't work in Safari.”

Look at his bag of hot dog boxes on the floor!”

I’m getting a full-on chest plate tattoo of FORM riding on the back of a magical unicorn to show my appreciation.”

It was working a minute ago.”

That's why I'm walking away while you look at pictures of Rob Van Dam.”

It's like, the Jedi.”

I can't solve a three-year-old's bee jokes.”

I'm programming in my head.”

It's like a pair of pants, for your car.”

It doesn't work in IE.”

C'mon. Lemme see your turkey burgers.”

Did Ben Franklin even know that dinosaurs existed?”

The conference template fills me with dread.”

Like, the food kind, or the magical kind?”

It's what's for dinner.”

It's like, the future.”

I have a weird cheese story for you.”

Long story short... I'm a genius, and we don't need a new Roomba.”

I was working, until I got distracted by this Madonna song.”

I hate Internet Explorer.”

What are these ribbons your horse keeps winning?”

I'm not trying to make my turnips rot you guys.”

Trash day is the only thing that anchors me.”

I'll die if I smell like a hamster.”

You're the Sherlock Holmes of the digital age.”

We're not counting the tiny chickens.”

PBS is very : colon-y.”

I'm just not used to Kory wearing pants.”

I don't recall there being an h in leprechaun.”

Beige is not a color.”

Oh I'm smart! I'm artificial!”

...And that is why you don't wear sandals to Blossom.”

Have you heard about the whaler-pirate guy?”

Activate the chicken!”

I thought I was done with zombies.”

I switched to the California Raisins pillowcase last night.”

Eating peaches with a spoon stinks.”

I know how I like my files: Large.”

This knob makes me want to get drunk.”