You've probably
noticed we love
what we do

You're always picked last and your pasta smells.”

I just had an Emeril moment.”

Sassy Cap'n McBeef O'Brady”

If it's not moist, I'm not interested in having it thrown on my desk.”

Did you say "jQuery" or "Katie Perry"?”

Steve, you should come look at these sandwich pictures.”

I can tell by the look on your face that you're not going to be of any help.”

You have some mustard on your forehead. ”

You do seem like the type of guy who'd drink pickle juice.”

Where did you live, a coal chute?”

The meatball machine is broken.”

Settle down, Mailchimp.”

That's a good lookin monkey.”

I'm trying to figure out what kind of harvester to use for canola.”

You forgot the witch supplies!”

It's like a new Tool album for me.”

I need to know more about that cat!”

I want the whole tomato.”

I'm no stranger to a rotten banana.”

IE is the DMV of the Internet.”

I don't know who you think you are, coming up in here with a taco.”

Who am I, Benjamin Franklin?”

Move. You're where my Diet Coke goes.”

It’s just weird that this is like a “walkin’-around” place. ”

You wanna do hot dogs Friday?”

Yeah I'm turtlin'!”

I can't wait to dance on the grave of that site.”

Helvetica Light makes me think you're lying.”

Young Sam Elliot is a head-turner!”

Where we're going, we don't need rollovers!”

I'm not trying to make my turnips rot you guys.”

It looks like a big dinosaur protecting a translucent bag of smaller dinosaurs”

It looks, feels, and smells great!”

It was like B-side Tony the Tiger.”

I try not to have too many hobbies.”

This sushi is quite delicious. If you like the taste of death.”

Michael do you want something pumpkin-spiced?”

It's too sausagy.”

Full of secrets and bees. ”

Acknowledge my math!”

Is this the collective smell of humanity?”

I can still smell Steve.”

Batteries? Seriously? What is this, 1985?”

I don't like the weather tellin' me what to do.”

You should watch Labyrinth if you're into Muppets.”

I'm dealing with some very important kangaroo things right now.”

This phone call is messing up my hair.”

How much bread would it take to feed a scorpion for a week?”

Entertainment Tonight is where dreams go to die.”

Gettin' mean... in a nice way.”

I think I'm gonna have to set something on fire.”

Like, the food kind, or the magical kind?”

Gonna write up the changes on a stone tablet like it's the Jurassic era.”

This tastes like Steve's car.”

Stay in your happy little design world.”

I can turn my funks off.”

Emotionally, my hands are in my pockets.”

Kohl's and casinos — no windows.”

I'm gonna crop out the crusty parts.”

Make it extra-white. #GGGGGG”

There's a lot of dirt down here.”

What about ferrets? Ferrets are weird.”

Well, we have mustaches upstairs.”

I'm wing-dingin' it.”

Why'd you walk over here like Stone Cold Steve Austin?”

I can get behind an animal with a handlebar mustache.”

What are these ribbons your horse keeps winning?”

Murderer at nine o'clock!”

I think what we should probably do, is nothing.”

It should be a little Burt Reynolds.”

Her abs look like a turtle shell.”

Try not to make it too caskety.”

Is toe box one word or two?”

The cats came with the man.”

Look at his bag of hot dog boxes on the floor!”

Well. I guess we're having stock photos for lunch.”

I've never seen the 80s.”

It's the web equivalent of a junk drawer.”

I can't solve a three-year-old's bee jokes.”

You're eating the chicken crust.”

Have you heard about the whaler-pirate guy?”

Our sponsors are our butter, our members are our bread.”

What's that band? 100 Haircuts?”

The donut button isn't working.”

Are pigs becoming extinct?”

I was just there for the Year of the Spatula.”

It's like The Sixth Sense, but with tacos.”

I keep thinking about that wolf tie.”

I just keep making ears by accident.”

I forgot outside was a place I could go.”

Come and get it, Sammy Hagar!”

Facebook's telling me I'm fat.”

I'm not giving my money to YouTube. YouTube is all horsey and gross.”

Who is Batman and The Drumstick?”

Also, they have a great toe box.”

Beige is not a color.”

Steve's probably listening to Fiona Apple.”

I'd try human. (on the topic of cannibalism)”

I'm out here changing the Internet.”

I haven't had a muffler since 2020”

Always cut toward your innards.”

You see that giant hot dog?”

I said something about sausage, but I don't remember what it was.”

If you had a hot dog roller and went shopping for sausages, things might change.”

I know how I like my files: Large.”

I have a weird cheese story for you.”

It works!”

It'll be in the Someone Said that's in your heart.”

Was that Rod Stewart?”

There's wine on your motherboard.”

I was working, until I got distracted by this Madonna song.”

The football game or the moon landing?”

Light the content candle!”

They're like little rock possums!”

What kind of single-finger crimes can you commit?”

Let's not get in a fight with a horse.”

I don't want to chase the red sweater. I just want to buy the red sweater.”

You'd suck at being a zombie.”

I'm trying to think of a more magical word for practical.”

He's got an eyepatch sorta vibe.”

I'm sorry about the div.”

It's like Smash Mouth in the 90's”

I'd rather be Garamond than Papyrus.”

I’m getting a full-on chest plate tattoo of FORM riding on the back of a magical unicorn to show my appreciation.”

It's like an easy bake oven for adults who like chicken.”

No amount of money is worth your husband having a mustache.”

No one is as f*#¥%#! good as Katelyn. She’s got two degrees.”

It's dark and gloomy with zombies, but I think I'll keep my sunglasses on.”

You look at your astronaut food. I'm gonna work.”

Don't come at me with your popcorn problems.”

My whole life is a circular formula.”

Please ignore me collating behind you.”

It's like, the Jedi.”

I don't foresee whales having cell phones.”

That's great, now there's bacon bits in my keyboard.”

Fancy code is the only kind I write.”

Then I thought, why not just make it Helvetica?”

I just wanna eat this sandwich.”

Oh, sorry! I'll just rewrite the Web.”

Can you bring your horse?”

My goal is to live until 2085.”

She’s like the Taylor Swift of silversmithing. ”

Adam Driver is the Sarah Jessica Parker of men.”

It's what's for dinner.”

In Belgium, there's a tax for things that are too multitasky.”

Whoa! That's the monkey!”

Check your email before you put your pants on.”

What can I say? I have uncontrollable eyebrows.”

I only got to Utah before I quit.”

Not wearing black is Emily's pink.”

It was working a minute ago.”

It's a torsional thing.”

I think what we should plan to do, is nothing.”

The wild cheeses grow aplenty here.”

Remember when you threw décor at me?”

Babies aren't supposed to look like Woody Harrelson. ”

It's like drinking a little garden.”

...And that is why you don't wear sandals to Blossom.”

No, *YOU* need megadoses of vitamin D.”

I had some chicken wings in my car that I was going to give you. ”

I wish I could draw RoboCop.”

I found Pickle Doritos at a rest stop.”

How would you get DNA from Elvis?”

The hands are the face of the arm.”

Must. Resist. Cacao.”

My middle toe went numb and I thought I had something in my shoe.”

It smells like the 80s.”

There are four purses in my purse.”

They're switchin' browsers and clearin' cookies!”

What don't you think should be converted into a fish tank?”

Is that horse wearing shorts?”

Shrimp is too squeaky for the morning.”

Did I do that during the pandemic?”

He sucked at watching TV.”

I've looked at that alpaca all day.”

I need a more magical word for "practical."”

I would put that in Someone Said if it wasn't so disgusting.”

Oooh, it's propagating!”

These zombies look like cauliflower.”

I would rather have moist than wet food, thank you very much.”

Eating beans from a can like a hobo!”

The 80's called and they want their wine back.”

I'm going to look up thesaurus in the dictionary.”

If this were a book, I would totally read it.”

It's too Skittly.”

1-2-3 Cheeseburger Lane!”

I don't want this bacon on here any more.”

We're not counting the tiny chickens.”

It reminds me of an old calculator.”

400 pounds plus adrenaline, and I could flip a car, easy.”

Your sweat smells like Dolce & Gabbana.”

I don't recall there being an h in leprechaun.”

Did you just raise the roof on jQuery?”

Pockets full of coffee.”

This is not your grandmother's website!”

Are we going to a place I can wear slippers?”

I can't juggle a fish, that's for sure.”

An ice cream truck drove through this design.”

It's like Top Chef, but with vodka.”

Internet Explorer is ruining this.”

I've been thinking about that wolf tie.”

Why is there a piece of cheese in my purse?”

Haven't we tortured cauliflower enough?”

PBS is very : colon-y.”

I call those dinosaurs daddy long necks.”

Let's see, so the chicken goes in the middle...”

Every time she raises her hand an egg dies.”

Cat-flavored ice cream?”

Your hat smells like bologna.”

Mister-I'm-Never-Wrong!”

(on St. Patrick's Day) Happy Thanksgiving!”

I am the ghost of Tractor Supply Company.”

I had a pencil sharpener shaped like a boat.”

I'm thinking like four, maybe five steps ahead of you.”

It's been two days since Monday.”

All caps, all the time.”

Location ID = 23 Bread Bowl = False (AKA: The Breadbowl Module is Broken.)”

Stop counting the dents in my can of food.”

Long story short... I'm a genius, and we don't need a new Roomba.”

The Muppets are my Downton Abbey.”

I didn't want to spend $40 on a banana costume.”

There is no reason for Bob Evans.”

Birthday Mullet Hammer Pants”

They'll do anything for a ribbon and a hamburger.”

I can’t type expletives without the expletives. ”

I bought a Chewbacca shirt but I keep forgetting to wear it.”

These people drive like animals.”

It doesn't work in Safari.”

Instructions unclear, I have peanut butter on my hands.”

I thought I was done with zombies.”

I got this whole thing of Silly Putty stuck on my sleeve.”

Beige is not an image.”

We're not eating it, we're just looking at it!”

There are no conifer trees in here.”

Steve, let's go somewhere, just you and me.”

I wanna smell how cold it is.”

I mean, how much Jeff Bridges can you have in one movie?”

You just have to hope for the best until it doesn't happen.”

I'm programming in my head.”

What is life if not just a series of great chairs?”

That's why I don't eat it out of a can; I eat it out of a bag.”

A guy named Jerry has 20 watermelons in his truck.”

Can I be Josh for Halloween?”

Teresa, you haven't given me an answer, you've only given me s*!%.”

Thankfully, Mercury in retrograde ends today.”

You can't out-do the fish with sneakers.”

Bring it all to the corn dog party!”

This is too helpful.”

No. They don't have budget for robots.”

It's like a clown car of drawers.”

I've been here before - I was looking for a baby!”

'M', as in Machu Picchu.”

Oh I'm smart! I'm artificial!”

I'm gonna make websites out of wood.”

They have that dirty ketchup money.”

But, Saul Bass already used all the good shapes.”

Why is the llama-cam shaking?”

I feel like I just try too much sometimes.”

I can handle a lot of Jeff Bridges in one movie.”

Eating peaches with a spoon stinks.”

I think I was bitten by a rattlesnake in a past life.”

Lower case "m" is the best letter.”

They should do Animal Crossing on the moon.”

I'd go to a goat rodeo.”

That's a lawsuit pickle right there.”

I'm bringing iFrames back.”

There's a lot of outer space.”

It's like if I had muscles but with quarters.”

Wait 'til I get this gas station food, then order in.”

I just smelled fries in my head.”

It's like, I read books, but I also party.”

Salad's nasty.”

Can you Swissify it?”

That's just how I like my mugs: Cheap and Swiss.”

I've been to New Jersey?”

Look at the eyes on that Red-Legged Honeycreeper!”

It's broken.”

My version of a beard is a hat.”

They're like the seagulls of birds.”

I can't wait to put that on a T-shirt.”

I'm gonna rock that perm!”

I want a corn dog scented candle.”

I'm going to pull out the Real Joe Pesci Hat.”

He's building a car and doing his spy run.”

I hate Internet Explorer.”

Those stupid little pickles.”

If the Long Island Medium were here, she'd freak out.”

It wasn't like that a minute ago.”

I'll die if I smell like a hamster.”

Why'd you put me out like that about the Lion King?”

It's like, the future.”

People are weird in the spring, man.”

I've never had much luck with rabbits.”

I switched to the California Raisins pillowcase last night.”

There is no light, only Dark Mode.”

I'm just not used to Kory wearing pants.”

Something is wrong with the server.”

One time I set myself on fire.”

I tried the peanut butter trick with Jelly before.”

I'm sorry I'm not a sock connoisseur.”

This knob makes me want to get drunk.”

You can't ship pickles.”

You reach into your heart and pull out a potholder.”

What kind of shoes, cotton candy?”

More bugs than expected. 4 stars. ”

Trash day is the only thing that anchors me.”

Let's talk about donuts. ”

It's too Skynrdy.”

He's magic. He's practically a leprechaun.”

It's a pickle wearing a cape; I think it's self-explanatory.”

Is hot dog one word or two?”

Never get into a fistfight with a puppeteer.”

Hot yoga, Steve? No, goat.”

I'm sitting down here with Hot Popcorn Hands.”

You're the Sherlock Holmes of the digital age.”

The air doesn't taste like pancakes!”

I love mint-forward. ”

Math is black.”

Those weren't professional quality mustaches.”

A pickle chip got caught in the wheels of my chair.”

The dog arrived before the paintings.”

I'm not at a place in my heart where I can eat a bear.”

I once smuggled a Subway footlong in my sweatshirt pocket. ”

No cults or dying, please. It's Friday.”

Activate the chicken!”

I just blew my nose in my notes.”

That horse looks like Burt Russel Crowe.”

Please pray for Mrs. Haskel's tomatoes.”

Squirrels don't have pants.”

I have an item of boot business to discuss.”

I don't think real cowboys do this much ironing.”

We have flippage!”

The conference template fills me with dread.”

Is that a convertible hearse?”

Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe it‘s Oppenheimer. ”

It doesn't work in IE.”

That egg is dumb.”

I don't like wearing pants.”

I'm trying to use your design elements but I'm not sure I like them.”

It's not urgent, aside from the building being on fire.”

C'mon. Lemme see your turkey burgers.”

It's like a statue of my dog with a mustache on it.”

That's why I'm walking away while you look at pictures of Rob Van Dam.”

A person can be positive, AND also inappropriate.”

How am I supposed to get through my workday when I have to take care of all these tiny people in my phone?”

Dark Mode is ruining my life.”

Rhinos are a big deal.”

It's like a pair of pants, for your car.”