You've probably
noticed we love
what we do

I switched to the California Raisins pillowcase last night.”

I think I was bitten by a rattlesnake in a past life.”

Facebook's telling me I'm fat.”

Entertainment Tonight is where dreams go to die.”

Instructions unclear, I have peanut butter on my hands.”

Did I do that during the pandemic?”

Salad's nasty.”

I'm trying to think of a more magical word for practical.”

This knob makes me want to get drunk.”

I'm not at a place in my heart where I can eat a bear.”

PBS is very : colon-y.”

They have that dirty ketchup money.”

It's like Smash Mouth in the 90's”

A guy named Jerry has 20 watermelons in his truck.”

Eating peaches with a spoon stinks.”

I'm thinking like four, maybe five steps ahead of you.”

He's got an eyepatch sorta vibe.”

Are pigs becoming extinct?”

I have an item of boot business to discuss.”

What don't you think should be converted into a fish tank?”

He's magic. He's practically a leprechaun.”

My whole life is a circular formula.”

I'm trying to use your design elements but I'm not sure I like them.”

You reach into your heart and pull out a potholder.”

Is that a convertible hearse?”

I found Pickle Doritos at a rest stop.”

Where we're going, we don't need rollovers!”

I once smuggled a Subway footlong in my sweatshirt pocket. ”

It's like, the future.”

You should watch Labyrinth if you're into Muppets.”

I can tell by the look on your face that you're not going to be of any help.”

You have some mustard on your forehead. ”

More bugs than expected. 4 stars. ”

Stop counting the dents in my can of food.”

I just blew my nose in my notes.”

Did you just raise the roof on jQuery?”

The football game or the moon landing?”

A pickle chip got caught in the wheels of my chair.”

Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe it‘s Oppenheimer. ”

Look at his bag of hot dog boxes on the floor!”

There's a lot of dirt down here.”

It's dark and gloomy with zombies, but I think I'll keep my sunglasses on.”

Don't come at me with your popcorn problems.”

I didn't want to spend $40 on a banana costume.”

They should do Animal Crossing on the moon.”

What are these ribbons your horse keeps winning?”

They're like the seagulls of birds.”

You do seem like the type of guy who'd drink pickle juice.”

I don't think real cowboys do this much ironing.”

Long story short... I'm a genius, and we don't need a new Roomba.”

I think what we should plan to do, is nothing.”

1-2-3 Cheeseburger Lane!”

I know how I like my files: Large.”

Your sweat smells like Dolce & Gabbana.”

I'm gonna make websites out of wood.”

I can get behind an animal with a handlebar mustache.”

I can’t type expletives without the expletives. ”

I don't recall there being an h in leprechaun.”

I want the whole tomato.”

Murderer at nine o'clock!”

Lower case "m" is the best letter.”

I just wanna eat this sandwich.”

I need to know more about that cat!”

You can't ship pickles.”

You're eating the chicken crust.”

These zombies look like cauliflower.”

I call those dinosaurs daddy long necks.”

Make it extra-white. #GGGGGG”

It was like B-side Tony the Tiger.”

I can't juggle a fish, that's for sure.”

Please ignore me collating behind you.”

They're switchin' browsers and clearin' cookies!”

Let's see, so the chicken goes in the middle...”

I don't like the weather tellin' me what to do.”

I've been here before - I was looking for a baby!”

It's too Skittly.”

IE is the DMV of the Internet.”

Can you bring your horse?”

Mister-I'm-Never-Wrong!”

I can't wait to put that on a T-shirt.”

Oh I'm smart! I'm artificial!”

Those weren't professional quality mustaches.”

Batteries? Seriously? What is this, 1985?”

Beige is not a color.”

It looks like a big dinosaur protecting a translucent bag of smaller dinosaurs”

Always cut toward your innards.”

Squirrels don't have pants.”

What can I say? I have uncontrollable eyebrows.”

I don't want to chase the red sweater. I just want to buy the red sweater.”

It's like an easy bake oven for adults who like chicken.”

I'm sitting down here with Hot Popcorn Hands.”

It’s just weird that this is like a “walkin’-around” place. ”

I don't know who you think you are, coming up in here with a taco.”

I don't want this bacon on here any more.”

I tried the peanut butter trick with Jelly before.”

C'mon. Lemme see your turkey burgers.”

I'm not trying to make my turnips rot you guys.”

There are no conifer trees in here.”

Steve's probably listening to Fiona Apple.”

(on St. Patrick's Day) Happy Thanksgiving!”

I'm just not used to Kory wearing pants.”

I just had an Emeril moment.”

Helvetica Light makes me think you're lying.”

I was working, until I got distracted by this Madonna song.”

Math is black.”

How am I supposed to get through my workday when I have to take care of all these tiny people in my phone?”

Pockets full of coffee.”

They'll do anything for a ribbon and a hamburger.”

I would put that in Someone Said if it wasn't so disgusting.”

No amount of money is worth your husband having a mustache.”

Can you Swissify it?”

I've never seen the 80s.”

Oh, sorry! I'll just rewrite the Web.”

I'd try human. (on the topic of cannibalism)”

It reminds me of an old calculator.”

I can turn my funks off.”

Steve, let's go somewhere, just you and me.”

I'd rather be Garamond than Papyrus.”

It's too Skynrdy.”

You can't out-do the fish with sneakers.”

I want a corn dog scented candle.”

I've been thinking about that wolf tie.”

I'm trying to figure out what kind of harvester to use for canola.”

I had a pencil sharpener shaped like a boat.”

Please pray for Mrs. Haskel's tomatoes.”

It's like a statue of my dog with a mustache on it.”

What is life if not just a series of great chairs?”

It works!”

Something is wrong with the server.”

Your hat smells like bologna.”

You just have to hope for the best until it doesn't happen.”

It smells like the 80s.”

It's like drinking a little garden.”

Emotionally, my hands are in my pockets.”

Why'd you put me out like that about the Lion King?”

It's too sausagy.”

Her abs look like a turtle shell.”

Why'd you walk over here like Stone Cold Steve Austin?”

This is too helpful.”

Like, the food kind, or the magical kind?”

There's wine on your motherboard.”

If the Long Island Medium were here, she'd freak out.”

Activate the chicken!”

You're always picked last and your pasta smells.”

No, *YOU* need megadoses of vitamin D.”

Come and get it, Sammy Hagar!”

Stay in your happy little design world.”

I'm out here changing the Internet.”

Try not to make it too caskety.”

It's a torsional thing.”

Acknowledge my math!”

There is no reason for Bob Evans.”

I thought I was done with zombies.”

Is toe box one word or two?”

It looks, feels, and smells great!”

Sassy Cap'n McBeef O'Brady”

I'm going to pull out the Real Joe Pesci Hat.”

I only got to Utah before I quit.”

I'm dealing with some very important kangaroo things right now.”

It'll be in the Someone Said that's in your heart.”

It's not urgent, aside from the building being on fire.”

It doesn't work in Safari.”

It's like The Sixth Sense, but with tacos.”

It's like a new Tool album for me.”

Move. You're where my Diet Coke goes.”

The 80's called and they want their wine back.”

Our sponsors are our butter, our members are our bread.”

Wait 'til I get this gas station food, then order in.”

This phone call is messing up my hair.”

Babies aren't supposed to look like Woody Harrelson. ”

There's a lot of outer space.”

There are four purses in my purse.”

You forgot the witch supplies!”

Adam Driver is the Sarah Jessica Parker of men.”

Settle down, Mailchimp.”

I hate Internet Explorer.”

I'm going to look up thesaurus in the dictionary.”

Dark Mode is ruining my life.”

If it's not moist, I'm not interested in having it thrown on my desk.”

I feel like I just try too much sometimes.”

No one is as f*#¥%#! good as Katelyn. She’s got two degrees.”

I think I'm gonna have to set something on fire.”

I can still smell Steve.”

Steve, you should come look at these sandwich pictures.”

Cat-flavored ice cream?”

Is this the collective smell of humanity?”

Thankfully, Mercury in retrograde ends today.”

Let's talk about donuts. ”

We have flippage!”

It wasn't like that a minute ago.”

You see that giant hot dog?”

Every time she raises her hand an egg dies.”

I'm not giving my money to YouTube. YouTube is all horsey and gross.”

This tastes like Steve's car.”

400 pounds plus adrenaline, and I could flip a car, easy.”

It doesn't work in IE.”

The hands are the face of the arm.”

It's been two days since Monday.”

Light the content candle!”

I'm gonna rock that perm!”

I don't foresee whales having cell phones.”

It's like a pair of pants, for your car.”

But, Saul Bass already used all the good shapes.”

The meatball machine is broken.”

Can I be Josh for Halloween?”

Those stupid little pickles.”

Well, we have mustaches upstairs.”

The dog arrived before the paintings.”

Well. I guess we're having stock photos for lunch.”

It's like a clown car of drawers.”

Bring it all to the corn dog party!”

It's like, I read books, but I also party.”

The Muppets are my Downton Abbey.”

One time I set myself on fire.”

I need a more magical word for "practical."”

I am the ghost of Tractor Supply Company.”

I don't like wearing pants.”

You're the Sherlock Holmes of the digital age.”

Location ID = 23 Bread Bowl = False (AKA: The Breadbowl Module is Broken.)”

Teresa, you haven't given me an answer, you've only given me s*!%.”

This is not your grandmother's website!”

I haven't had a muffler since 2020”

Why is there a piece of cheese in my purse?”

My middle toe went numb and I thought I had something in my shoe.”

A person can be positive, AND also inappropriate.”

Who is Batman and The Drumstick?”

No. They don't have budget for robots.”

Michael do you want something pumpkin-spiced?”

We're not counting the tiny chickens.”

You look at your astronaut food. I'm gonna work.”

I'm no stranger to a rotten banana.”

I'm bringing iFrames back.”

Also, they have a great toe box.”

I mean, how much Jeff Bridges can you have in one movie?”

This sushi is quite delicious. If you like the taste of death.”

I can't solve a three-year-old's bee jokes.”

I'm sorry I'm not a sock connoisseur.”

The conference template fills me with dread.”

What kind of single-finger crimes can you commit?”

Is that horse wearing shorts?”

What's that band? 100 Haircuts?”

I just keep making ears by accident.”

That's a good lookin monkey.”

That horse looks like Burt Russel Crowe.”

There is no light, only Dark Mode.”

Gettin' mean... in a nice way.”

That's great, now there's bacon bits in my keyboard.”

It's like, the Jedi.”

Is hot dog one word or two?”

It was working a minute ago.”

I'm gonna crop out the crusty parts.”

It's a pickle wearing a cape; I think it's self-explanatory.”

Remember when you threw décor at me?”

That's why I'm walking away while you look at pictures of Rob Van Dam.”

Gonna write up the changes on a stone tablet like it's the Jurassic era.”

They're like little rock possums!”

It's like if I had muscles but with quarters.”

...And that is why you don't wear sandals to Blossom.”

The cats came with the man.”

I love mint-forward. ”

If this were a book, I would totally read it.”

In Belgium, there's a tax for things that are too multitasky.”

I think what we should probably do, is nothing.”

Rhinos are a big deal.”

I can handle a lot of Jeff Bridges in one movie.”

What about ferrets? Ferrets are weird.”

Beige is not an image.”

Check your email before you put your pants on.”

My version of a beard is a hat.”

I've been to New Jersey?”

Never get into a fistfight with a puppeteer.”

'M', as in Machu Picchu.”

I just smelled fries in my head.”

I'm sorry about the div.”

I bought a Chewbacca shirt but I keep forgetting to wear it.”

I've never had much luck with rabbits.”

I keep thinking about that wolf tie.”

Why is the llama-cam shaking?”

I'd go to a goat rodeo.”

I’m getting a full-on chest plate tattoo of FORM riding on the back of a magical unicorn to show my appreciation.”

Did you say "jQuery" or "Katie Perry"?”

All caps, all the time.”

I'm wing-dingin' it.”

It's like Top Chef, but with vodka.”

I said something about sausage, but I don't remember what it was.”

We're not eating it, we're just looking at it!”

She’s like the Taylor Swift of silversmithing. ”

Whoa! That's the monkey!”

I can't wait to dance on the grave of that site.”

Are we going to a place I can wear slippers?”

The wild cheeses grow aplenty here.”

The donut button isn't working.”

You wanna do hot dogs Friday?”

I try not to have too many hobbies.”

The air doesn't taste like pancakes!”

That's why I don't eat it out of a can; I eat it out of a bag.”

Must. Resist. Cacao.”

I've looked at that alpaca all day.”

My goal is to live until 2085.”

Have you heard about the whaler-pirate guy?”

How would you get DNA from Elvis?”

That egg is dumb.”

Look at the eyes on that Red-Legged Honeycreeper!”

I wanna smell how cold it is.”

No cults or dying, please. It's Friday.”

I had some chicken wings in my car that I was going to give you. ”

That's just how I like my mugs: Cheap and Swiss.”

These people drive like animals.”

Oooh, it's propagating!”

It's broken.”

Internet Explorer is ruining this.”

How much bread would it take to feed a scorpion for a week?”

It's what's for dinner.”

An ice cream truck drove through this design.”

Was that Rod Stewart?”

I wish I could draw RoboCop.”

Then I thought, why not just make it Helvetica?”

Yeah I'm turtlin'!”

I have a weird cheese story for you.”

It's the web equivalent of a junk drawer.”

If you had a hot dog roller and went shopping for sausages, things might change.”

I got this whole thing of Silly Putty stuck on my sleeve.”

I'm programming in my head.”

Not wearing black is Emily's pink.”

It should be a little Burt Reynolds.”

I'll die if I smell like a hamster.”

He sucked at watching TV.”

Fancy code is the only kind I write.”